Ever

Okay.

This is a totally weird post.

I warned you before read this.

Because maybe your eyes will be hurt.

Okay then if you keep your mind. *sigh*

You have your own risk.

It was a long time ago. It was when I just know what love it is. The fact is, now, in my almost twenty years old, I really remember the feeling. It just stucks in my mind, but not my heart. Unfortunately, my heart, until now, refuses to feels it again. Yes, I forget how the feeling feel is. Once (twice) upon a time, I ever loved by.. yes, by human. By person. By boys. Two. I don’t know they were real or fake, but at that time I could feel that it was real, not just unrequited love. I didn’t know why I wrote this, but when I heard a voice of a singer… all the memories suddenly just came to my mind. Like… what the heck? I remember the first boy who can made me happy everytime I saw him. I remember how happy I was when he said about his feeling to me. No doubt, he was my first love. I know it’s just a joke love story because I was just a selfish teen girl at that time. I forget, maybe I was twelve. Hahaha, yes, yes, yes, now you know that it is just a joke love story. Although it was just a teen’s joke love story, sometimes it is still fun to remember. It will remain to myself that I ever loved, missed, and also cried for boys. It is funny, isn’t? Ah, it was a long time ago, now I’ve grown up. I never meet him for, maybe, three years. I wonder his transformation from a teen to an adult man. Is he still caring his around people? Is he still have cute smile? Is he still love to singing? He will never know the day that I saw he sang a song. It was my second time to hear his voices. I felt so honored to be there. To saw him and heard his voices, I mean. Until now, his voices still remind me everytime I heard to the song that he was sang to. I also remember a quiet boy who couldn’t open his mouth everytime he was laughed. Yes, the second boy. How his eyes narrowed everytime he laughed. Is he still quiet? Is he still shy? Is he still raises his hand to solves the math problem? For now, maybe he likes another subject in his school. I don’t know. Is he, ah sorry, is THEY still humped their back? Yes, they were such a tall boys! To me, the comparison between them is about attention. Yes. The first boy rarely give me attention by a message or something like that. While the second boy looks like he would try as he could as to sent me a message. LOL, I don’t know is that real or not but that’s what he looks like in my eyes. But of course both of them were the best experience to me. Sometimes I asked to myself, were they blind? Because the fact is I just an… oridnary girl. I’m not beautiful like other girls. Therefore I ever thought that they just played with their teen life. They didn’t serious. They just played with my feeling, for my brain’s exaction. LOL. I don’t know the fact. Ask them. LOL.

Just because I wrote about them it didn’t mean that I still love them, okay? No, no, no. Big no. I just keep them in my memories, because they gave me such precious experiences. Because until now I forget, how the feeling is. Maybe my heart was so shy then refused some similar feeling? Hahaha, I doubt if that’s true. Or is it because, until now, no one couldn’t give me to feel back that similar feeling? Now I wonder about who he is.

Uh-oh, now we know that time flies so fast, right? I am warning you right now for not too often going back to the past memories. Promise me, okay?

Goodbye and prepare to welcome your future. I hope we will ready when it comes.

Get well soon for your eyes.

P.S.: Don't read it too serious. Just keep calm. Because I wrote this while heard Chris Martin's voices. :D
I don't know why I wrote this with English instead with Bahasa. Sorry for my grammar, they all just naturally came to my head.
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